The Mother of All Movements: Why Mothers Deserve To Move For Them

Written by Kathryn Meadows

Kathryn qualified as a pilates teacher in 2005 but has been involved in sport and movement since she was little having “dabbled” in ballet, horse riding, rowing as a Junior for Great Britain, climbing, swimming, water polo, triathlons, running and all sorts in between. She is also a qualified personal trainer and since she had her first child in 2010 Kathryn has been more and more interested in post-natal recovery. Things became personal when she developed a stubborn abdominal separation and various associated injuries and issues after the birth of her 2nd child, including a challenging mental health recovery and gut health issues. Kathryn trained as a post-natal corrective exercise specialist to really hone her knowledge and now works with women 1-1 either online or in person, and in her home studio in Sussex.

Find out more about Kathryn’s work here, listen to her podcast here or follow on Instagram.

From conception to delivery, making and growing a baby, regardless of how you conceived, what your pregnancy was like and by which method you delivered, is a purely and completely physical act. To get pregnant it doesn’t matter what shape your thighs are or how flat your belly is, carrying a baby to your decreed delivery date isn’t dependent on how pert your boobs are or the angle of your collarbones, and getting your baby out of your body doesn’t require defined cheekbones or toned triceps.

Why then is it regarded as preferable that once we’ve “popped” our babies out we also make it look as if we haven’t had a baby at all, certainly we mustn’t make it look like our breasts have fed and nourished a human, or that our shoulders have comforted our most cherished bundles for hours on end, or that our tummies have held, protected and housed our baby growing from a “grape” to a “watermelon”.

We’ve done the most incredible, natural thing in the world and according to societal expectation we are all of a sudden instantly failing. Because whilst breastfeeding our baby (for the right amount of time of course, not too long, otherwise that’s also unacceptable) we don’t also have the insta-perfect body, slouchy pineapple hairdo and White Company styling at all times.

God forbid we look like we’ve not slept more than 2 hours at a time for what feels like 300 years, have a rage filled teething baby alongside a clingy toddler so personal space is in desperately short supply, and are wondering WTF has happened to our ability to string a sentence together that doesn’t involve poo, feed times and the ins and outs of Paw Patrol.

For me, motherhood felt like all claim I once had to the control of my body, how and when I chose to move or whether and how I could shape up or chill out had been removed and instead I had to desperately clutch at any nugget of information I could that would “solve” whatever particular issue was going on that day.

The days seemed to stretch for months, and the continuous cycle of negative thinking and stewing was all the more exposed by the monotony of baby caring.

Looking around for inspiration when I had my babies nearly 9 and 6 1/2 years ago, I only found Davina DVDs and postnatal Mum and baby yoga classes, neither of which fitted the me I wanted to try and repair (no Instagram at that point - imagine!!). I was a fit, highly active pilates teacher on an extended maternity leave (thanks London childcare costs!) and I wanted to be able to feel strong and move freely and comfortably again, and what had worked before wasn’t this time, it was harder, I was tired and whenever I tried to start something, the needs of my small children would take over in priority.

I also heard this from many other women, you want to get back to intense exercises - HIIT, CrossFit, boxing classes or long distance running for example - and your pelvic floor gives up, or you are so tired so can’t recover properly, or the “Mum tum” you thought was getting better starts to get worse.

So I needed to step back, think about what I was doing and whether it was right for me, asking the question with movement, food and so many other things in life: “is this serving me right now?”

CrossFit had to go, it was too intense and I was on the brink, I needed rest and replenishment - lots of sleep, and turning inwards to listen to what was really going on in my body. I did more yoga, I chose not to do anything on many days, and on moving out of London things improved dramatically. The space, the fresh air, the walking and the limited hassle all helped to calm my overworked nervous system and let me listen to what I needed without getting overwhelmed with all the internal chatter.

It’s about arriving at ourselves and being able to celebrate where we are without having to prove anything or compete. In the rather brilliant episode of Late Night Woman’s Hour entitled “Are You Tree Curious” from 31st October 2018 - Sali Hughes, Caitlin Moran, Nadia Shireen and Lauren Laverne talked about moving and how it felt post-pregnancy.

As Caitlin puts it “you have to do that as a personal journey, there is nothing in the framework, there aren’t any stories of accepting yourself as you are, there’s no makeover or fabulous transformation that’s about to happen, suddenly you are pulled into your body [when you give birth] and you have to attend that event”.

So we have to learn to move again, not out of punishment, not because we are not good enough, but because we have done something amazing, we need to respect our amazing bodies and honour them every day by treating ourselves to nourishing and wonderful movement, whatever that looks like to you - dance, yoga, running, climbing, fencing, netball, football or a kitchen workout to Dance Anthems - do it because you love it, it lights you up inside, and you feel an even better version of you than you are at the moment once you’ve finished.

You really do deserve it, and your family really does deserve to have that version of you with them.

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